Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Season
  • That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

    That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 24 - Aired 05/22/2006

    Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

  • Arguments for the Quickie

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    Season 3, Episode 23 - Aired 05/15/2006

    Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.

  • Just Once With Aunt Sophie

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    Season 3, Episode 22 - Aired 05/09/2006

    A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

  • And the Plot Moistens

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    Season 3, Episode 21 - Aired 05/01/2006

    Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

  • Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

    Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 20 - Aired 04/24/2006

    Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

  • Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

    Golly Moses, She's a Muffin Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired 04/10/2006

    Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

  • The Spit-Covered Cobbler

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    Season 3, Episode 18 - Aired 03/20/2006

    Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.

  • The Unfortunate Little Schnauser

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    Season 3, Episode 17 - Aired 03/13/2006

    Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

  • Ergo, The Booty Call

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    Season 3, Episode 16 - Aired 03/06/2006

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

  • My Tongue is Meat

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    Season 3, Episode 15 - Aired 02/27/2006

    Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.

  • Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

    Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 14 - Aired 02/06/2006

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

  • Humiliation is a Visual Medium

    Humiliation is a Visual Medium Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 13 - Aired 01/23/2006

    Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

  • That Special Tug

    That Special Tug Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 12 - Aired 01/09/2006

    Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

  • Santa's Village of the Damned

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    Season 3, Episode 11 - Aired 12/19/2005

    Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

  • Something Salted and Twisted

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    Season 3, Episode 10 - Aired 11/28/2005

    Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

  • Madame and Her Special Friend

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    Season 3, Episode 9 - Aired 11/21/2005

    One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

  • That Voodoo That I Do Do

    That Voodoo That I Do Do Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 8 - Aired 11/14/2005

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

  • Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

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    Season 3, Episode 7 - Aired 11/07/2005

    Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

  • Hi, Mr. Horned One

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    Season 3, Episode 6 - Aired 10/24/2005

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

  • We Called It Mr. Pinky

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    Season 3, Episode 5 - Aired 10/17/2005

    Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.

  • Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs

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    Season 3, Episode 4 - Aired 10/10/2005

    Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

  • Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

    Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Edit this episode

    Season 3, Episode 3 - Aired 10/03/2005

    Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

  • Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

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    Season 3, Episode 2 - Aired 09/26/2005

    Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

  • Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

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    Season 3, Episode 1 - Aired 09/19/2005

    After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.