“We love Cumberbatch!”

“"You're a rocket scientist." "Yes, I fucking am."”

“Know what they used to call me in high school? The Pussymiester.”

“She was rubbing my cock, then she started foaming at the mouth, and the next thing you know she impaled herself in her Young Mother Theresa Humanitarian of the Year Award. I know it sounds unlikely, but there it is.”

“I want my money, Conti.”

“We don't have to go all the way; we can just cuddle. And when you're ready we can do some dry humping.”

“I'm going to take a shit in his bed, let him know he can't fuck with us!”

“Monkeyslut!”

“They're coming for you. They're going to turn you retarded!”

“That sounds made up. Are we supposed to know what that is?”